July 20 – Fresh off a month-long sojourn to base ball hotbeds situated in Port Huron, Dearborn and Bay City, Michigan, the Rochester Grangers lately returned to the stony-walled environs of Van Hoosen Farm. Awaiting the ballists on a sultry mid-summer afternoon were an appreciative assemblage of cranks in search of baseball, shade and a breeze. Providing the opposition were the formidable Wyandotte Stars Base Ball Club.
Perhaps rekindling unused fireworks left over from the Borden Park Independence Day conflagration, the Grangers lit the fuse on a first inning hitting explosion that left the Stars seeing stars. Striking first, the Rochesters began with a parade of blows seldom seen on the exercise grounds, propelling the orb to locations of the alameda usually reachable only by cannon fire or mountain goat.Punctuating the ballistic bruising were wallops by Steve “Steam Engine” Sebert, and the firm of Keith and Keith: Keith “Boomer” Walters, and Keith “Lefty” Harper, whose home run to the gorse in center field was last seen vanishing into the riparian wetlands. So clogged was the basepath traffic at the talleykeeper’s bell that Ms. Remer and Ms. Howarth, lacking sufficient columns on their cypher sheet, resorted to a form of hieroglyphic notation not seen since the days of King Tut. When the suspendered stalwarts were finally retired an improbable sixteen aces had crossed the plate, all before the visitors had taken a turn at bat.
Recognizing the distended numerical disparity thrust upon their visiting brethren, the Grangers took care to attend to the sensibilities of their guests. Heeding the admonitions of their fiery fieldmarshal Patrick “Barnraiser” McKay, the Rochesters took note of the irradiated conditions by permitting liberal use of pinch runners for those claiming heat stroke. With little of the outcome left to chance or peradventure, hurler Pat “Tumbleweed” Mayette was able to limit the Wyandotte scoring chances, leaving the Grangers on the upward side of a final accounting judged by this reporter too impolite for publication.
Following an on-field serenade, the thirsty cranks and combatants were treated to a blithesome postprandial feast of mustard greens, sausage pie and sasparilla, courtesy of Chadd’s Pizza and the Rochester Tap Room. The Grangers invite the townsfolk to attend the next chapter in the season anthology, which will unfold on Sunday, August 23 at 1:00, when the Sylvania Black Swamp Frogs come to town.